To care or plead silence. Weak hands are calling. To end this catastrophic scene, awake and breathe in.  I used to be a firm believer in God and the 'everything happens for a reason' thing, but now I'm beginning to question it..... You can't sit there and say that evil people will be punished for their evil doings. The nazi's in charge of the concentration camps haven't all been found. Many fled to South America where they lived the rest of their lives in peace and died of old age. Nazi's orchestrate the torture and murder of innocent people, then flee the country, then live the rest of their lives in peace? What kind of God would let things like that happen? You'd think that the almighty God that Christians are so crazy about would have done something to make those terrible people suffer for what the crimes against humanity they committed--or at least feel guilty about it. Yeah, yeah, you could argue that those Nazi leaders are being found and tried and then sent to prison--but those are 80-something-year-old people I mean they've got a max of what? 5 years in prison they've got to spend? Is that justice? Torture and kill hundreds of thousands of innocent people and the punishment is 5 years in prison?

That's not even the worst of it. A lesser known genocide is The Rape of Nanking, where the Japanese would do horrific things to the Chinese. Why? Because the Japanese believed themselves to be superior.. therefore.. they thought they had the right to turn into killing machines and brutally murder and torture the Chinese people. And guess what! The Japanese guilty of committing those crimes have NOT been tried--well, maybe some. There's this man in Japan right now who participated in raping and killing hundreds of Chinese who was put on trial, admitted the horrific deeds he had done, and now lives in peace in Japan as a doctor. We're talking about Japanese men who used to line up innocent Chinese people just because they were Chinese and would shoot their heads off for fun. Japanese soldiers who would rape Chinsese girls as young as 12 years old now have good jobs and good lives. Not only would innocent children be raped by these Japanese soldiers who now live peaceful and happy lives--these men with the happy lives would force Chinese fathers to rape their daughters and sons while the rest of the family was forced to watch.

Where are these Japanese soldiers now? Living happy lives with good jobs in Japan, or America, or some other country.. They don't have to pay for the crimes they committed. Okay, so maybe they might have some recently acquired conscience, and feel guilty about what they've done, but do you think that's justice? Do you think that guilt is punishment enough for someone who used to nail peoples' tongues to wooden polls and let them hang there until they bleed to death or die of dehydration? I don't.

So where's God then? Why is it that Nazi's and former Japanese soldiers are permited by our Lord and Creator to live in peace, despite the horrific things they've done? God lets them do that? God lets such people live happy lives even after the things they've done? Am I crazy here or something? Because I'm just not seeing how people can be so naive and still believe that a God like the Christian religion says, actually exists. I mean maybe there's something out there, but I doubt it's the God we all think it is.

But maybe the reason such naive ideas like 'those who do evil will be punished by God' come from people just not wanting to deal with the way the world is. I mean there are some people who completely deny the fact that the Holocaust actually happened. I don't think people are ready to face the fact that the religious ideas that have been around for centuries may actually be wrong... I don't think people will ever be ready to face that the world is as fucked up as it is, so we just keep ourselves locked in this little imaginary bubble to block out reality. That imaginary, non-existant bubble is religion.

She broke down the other day, yeah, you know, some things in life may change. And some things, they stay the same...like time. Welcome to my mind...full of... intricate, deep, and.. mostly pointless thoughts. Yeah, okay so anyways, the past month has been like total hell for me, and I'd like to say that I'm getting over it, but I won't lie to myself.  I think I'm in the process of ... self-discovery, yes, that's it.  But take it from me, pondering the meaning of your life gets you nowhere.

Kay. Next thought. Missionaries... piss me off. My spanish teacher is Mormon and he went on a mission to the Domincan Republic, and today he was talking about how most of the people in the Dominican Republic are devote Catholics.  He was talking about how great it was that the Catholic religion was such a huge part of their identity.   If being Catholic is such a huge part of their identity, why is he trying to make them Mormon? So I asked him and he started talking about how he wasn't trying to change their identity because he wasn't trying to make them American since Mormonism originated in America. He totally avoided my point, because that wasn't even what I was saying... the only reason I asked him why he was trying to change their identity is because he was trying to change their religion. And... according to him, their religion is a big part of their identity, so wouldn't changing their religion mean changing a big part of their identity? Maybe...... (See why I don't like missionaries?).  So then my teacher-the-missionary started talking about the reason he goes on those missions.  He put it like this: If there's a fire in the neighborhood that no one else sees, he wants to tell everyone about the fire so that he can save them.  Save them.  That's why I think religion is so corrupt. Everyone is trying to "save" each other, and they all end up fighting and trying to prove that their religion is better than everyone elses... when in reality, that's impossible.  No one can prove that their religion is the one and only religion, so they fight over it, which is why religion is so corrupt.

Plug: http://myspace.com/xcoldwater14x <--my myspace.

"Don't build your world around me.  Volcanos melt ya down"
So...I got my grades today.  Fun stuff right? Yeah, I know.... All A's... congratulations to me... too bad I don't get paid for it. >_> So...today was fun...but it kind of sucks because it's the day after Tuesday and that mean's that next Tuesday is so far away *tears* But that's okay, I've got chorus on Saturday! Fun stuff...so I've just discovered that both my crushes are Swedish.... well, American but Swedish heritage.. how.. nifty...?  Okay so the hot an sexy man you see at the top corner of this entrie is the hot an sexy DAMIEN RICE! Yes, he's so pretty, I think I'm gona finally change this Keira layout and put a layout with Damien Rice on it because he is amazingly sexy.  The fact that he sings and writes his own songs is very attractive.